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Reader Q&A: Won’t people take advantage of our generosity?

“Shouldn’t you caution your readers that criminals could take advantage of their generosity?” Reader asked.

Reader was referring to what I’d written about being generous in “The law of reciprocity.” In that post, I encouraged us to heed what Paul wrote to the believers in Corinth, that we are to excel in the grace of giving.

But that set off alarm bells with Reader, who works in the state judicial system with criminals convicted of defrauding elderly victims. She knows whereof she speaks. Evil people prey on generous, naïve people.

These words of caution are a typical response to calls to be generous. Such cautions come in various forms.

When I lived in China, new team members and visitors would ask for my input on how to handle requests from people begging on the streets. Similar questions came up when I was running the food pantry in Portland. I’d often get asked questions like, “How do you protect yourself?” or “How do you know they won’t take advantage of you?”

Funny, rich people take advantage of the vulnerable as much as poor people do, but we are more likely to hear concerns when those who are very poor are around us than when the very rich come knocking. Remember Bernie Madoff?

There are, without question, all kinds of people who prey on those who are vulnerable – and not just in those calls from phantom Nigeria. So how do we reconcile the many Scriptural injunctions to be generous with concerns about being taken advantage of.

I addressed that concern right there in that post on reciprocity: “We fear others won’t use the shared blessing appropriately. Or that they don’t deserve it.” And “We also fear we will suffer by being too generous.” I responded to those fears by stating, “Paul ignores such moaning and reminds his readers that we never lose by giving out of what we have been given by God.”

Our starting point is that everything we have to give to others has first come from God. Whatever we “lose” to others, we didn’t have in the first place. Not even our own lives.

We follow up with that starting point by saying that we are called by God to be wise stewards of what he has given us. Not stingy. Not defensive. But wise. “Eyes wide open” wise.

When we lived in China, we had to deal with authorities that didn’t always appreciate all of our values – some maybe, but not all. So, we had to be thoughtful with every action we took and every word we spoke. We learned to live by the saying of Jesus, “Be wise as snakes and harmless as doves.” (Matthew 10:16)

I passed that concept on to a coworker. When we’d get into a sticky situation, our catchphrase was simply “snakes and doves,” by which we meant, “This is a snakes-and-doves situation: be shrewd and innocent.”

I think the question Reader brings up is also a snakes-and-doves situation. How do we avoid bad people taking advantage of our generosity?

Notice what else Jesus says in that very same verse in Matthew, “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves.” Let’s take that as our starting point. Let’s start with sheep.

If we start with the cautionary tale, the wolves part, we miss the gospel altogether. But if we start with the sheep part, we have things in the right order. To put it another way, we begin with the good news of the gospel and its call on our lives, and then we follow that up with the snakes-and-doves principle.

Not quite making sense yet? We start with the truth that God calls us to be generous, to the point of laying down our very lives. But then we do so with our eyes wide open and always in step with what God’s Spirit is saying to us about how and when we are to lay our lives down.

So let’s take this step-by-step:

  1. When we become followers of Jesus, we are to be like Christ and to lay down our lives for others.

As He calls us to do so. That’s the “sheep” part. Sheep do not attack or defend themselves. They are merely harmless and nonthreatening. Hard to imagine a less threatening creature.

  1. When we lay down our lives, we really are risking that others will take advantage of us or that our generosity will be wasted on them.

That’s the “among wolves” part. I remember that the place I saw the most people begging for money in China was outside the Three-Self Church buildings. By Three-Self Churches, I mean the churches that were legal, mostly attended by elderly and poor people for whom the stigma and harm of church attendance meant little. These believers had a reputation for being very generous and so those who begged would line up outside the church doors as the elderly worshippers exited. In a society where those begging were considered so much rubbish, it was the witness of these believers’ that every human being was made in the image of God.

  1. We are called to be “innocent as doves.”

The idea is that we are to be harmless, pure even – not conniving, not scrounging for every penny, but rather giving the benefit of the doubt. Doves might be cunning, but they don’t have that reputation. What harm could a dove do to you? The worst is maybe messing up your car windshield. It is difficult to take offense to a dove, a creature we moderns still consider a symbol of peace.

  1. As harmless as doves, or as sheep for that part, we are still called to be “shrewd as snakes.”

I haven’t met too many snakes in my lifetime, so I don’t know how cunning they are. But in 1st century Palestine, snakes apparently were considered very crafty, very intelligent. One shade of the meaning of shrewd is the idea of being devious, a word filled with dark foreboding. But the “harmless as doves” concept reminds us that we are talking about the “eyes wide open”, intelligent side of shrewd. In other words, shrewd minus the devious.

  1. Jesus sends us out like sheep among wolves.

By which he means he knows we are going to face some serious predators. Wolves have had a bad rap in many cultures around the world. They are, after all, alpha predators. They live by preying on other creatures. So, in using that imagery, Jesus is saying don’t be surprised or offended when people try to take advantage of you – or try to abuse you for being Jesus followers. It is right there on our business cards: “In the business of laying down our lives since AD 33.”

  1. Jesus also sends us as part of community.

As part of a flock, a herd. Notice the context of this instruction about sheep and wolves, snakes and doves. Jesus is commissioning the 12 and soon he will do the same with 72 other followers. He sends them out together. More specifically, he sends them out two-by-two. In other words, we are sent out in groups, at least in pairs. When we get in trouble is when we become isolated. I don’t know much about wolves, but I do know such predators seek out and isolate the most vulnerable of prey in the herd. When we’re not checking in with at least a few others, we lose the wisdom – the shrewdness – that comes with the herd. And so too when we lose sight of the most vulnerable among us.

  1. Jesus sends us out with eyes wide open.

He goes on to say in this very context, “Be on your guard!” There’s the “wise as snakes” part again. But he does not mean we are to avoid trouble at all cost. On the contrary, he is telling his followers to be aware that others will persecute them, will bring charges against them, will brutalize them even – in other words, they will be taken advantage of. So why be on guard? Not so they can avoid suffering, because it will happen anyway, even if they are on guard. No, they are to be on guard so they don’t get caught off guard. When, not if, they suffer for doing good, they are to be prepared to have the correct response. Not to fight back, but to declare and demonstrate God’s love in the midst of their own suffering.

People do trick us when we are not watching, when we are not connected with others who will look out for us. So, we are cautioned to go anticipating that we will find ourselves in very vulnerable situations. We are to use wisdom, to stick together, and to keep our eyes open. And when others do take advantage of our goodness, we are to depend on the Holy Spirit to help us know what to do.

The question is not whether we are to be generous to the point of laying down our lives. The question is how, where, and when. And we are told to go into every situation with our eyes wide open, always giving in the context of community, and wholly dependent on the Spirit’s leading.

A couple of practical thoughts as I close:

  1. Remember, you can only give what God has given you. Don’t borrow to be generous.
  2. Don’t take from your other obligations that the Spirit has already entrusted you with – don’t let your family starve while you give to others, for example. That is forcing them to be generous on your behalf.
  3. When in doubt, give through community. A good starting place is through your local church, which can help ensure that where you are giving has the proper accountability measures in place.
  4. Give according to the priorities that the Spirit and the Word have already made clear to you. God is not going to impress you to do something contrary to what the Scriptures say, or the Spirit has already impressed on you.
  5. And watch out for the more vulnerable in your midst. In other passages, Scripture reminds us that we are to care for those who are weaker – those more prone to being preyed upon – among us.

Go and give, wise as snakes, harmless as doves.

I’m always open to hearing your questions, including when you are not sure about or disagree with something I’ve written. You can follow up on this thread in the comment section below or ask a new question on my Contact page. Thanks for reading!

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Published inJustice/Compassion

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